Category: the Rant Board
I hate when blind people think that that they don't need to learn independent living skills such vaccumeing just because. What do you think do you have any stories about someone you know
my friend maggie says she doesn't need to learn how to vaccume because shes blind and that someone will do that for her
I feel this is wrong blind people can do chores such as vaccumeing and dishes and so on
She needs to wake the bloody hell up and learn!
hahah, I like the assertiveness. i am pretty self-sufficient myself and don't see why someone would do that for me. It makes you look incapable, retarded, and it sets the hell aside out of you. instead, when you show that you can do everything else by yourself people would get interest on you . Thats an advantage. Another advantage or rather, another truth is that when youlearn independent living skills it would be no difference since a blind person has the same conditions as the sighted people do. i couldn't imagine someone who see without independent living skills, though there aer some examples dish washing and lawndry that just most mindless men cannot handle or are even daring to do, just because its prone to lack ofinterest and usually lack of patience.
I'm not sure how long I've washed dishes, but I know I have only broken two things so far. One was glass, another one was a porcelain bowl. You get used to the burning of hot water over your hands after a while, even if it does make your skin feel wrinkly when you're done. lol
I think it's important to learn independent living skills, but I also think that some people are very stubborn about acccepting help when they need it. It's like "I'm blind, so I have to be Superwoman/man and can't mess up ever." My mother says that when I get a fulltime job, I should get a maid to clean the house every month or so, to help me with things... She says that no matter how hard I calean, as a blind person, I'll always miss a few things. I'm not exactly willing to concede to that or to hire a maid, even if I did have the money, but I do believe that a healthy balance of independence and acccepting help is needed, unless the sighted person is just being overbaring.
I'll accept help, but how can I tell if the sighted person's being overbearing? I'm one to get easily frustrated with people who do that, and that's when I get impatient with them. i'll insist I do not need help with the littlest things, but I'm afraid I'll use a tone of voice that will push them away permanently.
Back to the rant in question, the people who irk me to the point of wanting to let them have it, are the ones who say they want to learn independent living skills, but then they don't even try. I don't know anyone personally who is like that, how about the rest of you?
I might be in that category. I used to have my own apartment above the house and was used to doing things for myself, but when I had to move back down here (for financial reasons), I backslid and then just got so frustrated that I decided it was better to just let everything get done for me. If For example, I leave a dish in the sink, my grandmother will wash it, even if I had all intentions of coming back to do it. Another thing that hinders my independence, and this may be true for some other people as well, is when things are moved on me. I'll put a cup on the counter, and the next time I look for it I"ll find it on the table. I loath having to look for bowels and other things because my mother moved them. This is part of the frustration I mentioned. When I lived alone, if I put that cup on the counter, it would stay there until I got my lazy ass up and moved it to it's proper place. However, I now have my own drawer and everything I use gets put back there. They don't go in there and move stuff, so it's making my life alot easier. As for the tone of voice, I can sometimes have the same problem. My pet peve is this. A sighted person should ask if I need help before doing something for me. That way, I can say yes or no, and if I say no, the person shouldn't keep on insisting on helping. I will admit
Try talking to your mom and asking her if she would leave things where you last put them. If she's not sure if you left it there or someone else had, she should just leave it there anyway in case that was the last place you put the object. problem solved.
I've tried that for years. She doesn't listen. We're as close as a mother and daughter can be, band she understands, but she'll still do it. Sometimes, she doesn't even know where she put the thing, or she'll just move it without even thinking about it. I'm not the only one in the family who has their things moved. She has gotten a little better though.
I agree people don't ask us if we need help they just do it and thats not fare because we need independents and people who can see take their site for granted and don't give us the time to do things or even learn things on our own
Well I am on the other side of the coin. Because I am skilled at many things people expect me to get it done. Sink stops up, he'll hix it. Car broke he'll fix it. Whatever, so when I fail it's like, must be because he's blind. hahahaha. As a child my parents didn't believe I could live a "normal" life, so I strived hardd to learn a little about a lot of things and to be as "sighted" acting as possible. I believe that most blind people should do this as well. I don't expect them to be handyman Joe or anything, but basics should be learned, washing, cleaning, dressing, and light cooking. If you can do these things your pretty much equal to sighted people. Now about the moving of things I really think things should be put back. If there is something you need to know where you put it then put it in your private space. Anything in the public space should get put back, washed, or whatever. What if you have a messy blind person and people don't want to move stuff because they can't find it? Messy house. Now as far as cleaning and missing things I don't agree this is only a blind persons plight. Sighted people do exactly the same. Also from working with a perfessional cleaning services for a while you will find that these services don't clean well either, so your money could get waisted. Homes don't need to be perfect places.
Now who does that girl get to do the vacuming, I need them! SMILE
I have to agree that blind people should learn basics
when I was young I have some sight but still read braille but I found that the indenpendents living skills I do have is tis because I was taught how and made to do some of the same things a sighted person does
yes their are some things we have to ask people for help
Tiffanitsa i'm a bit concerned that you are looking for bowels that your mom has moved. that was just a bit too much information.
hehehehe
Hahaha, funny how just one accidental change in spelling can change the entire meaning of a sentence. lol
Oo gosh! I first started learning independent living skills probably before I started school, starting off helping Gran out in the kitchen when we had a big family party planned and she needed help baking the scones, tarts, pies, sponges or whatever, then I started preparing cereals and drinks and spreading toast myself when I went to School which lead to much bigger things especially for a 7-year-old who'd always had the bed made for her at home, but now I'd moved from Hever Unit in to knowle Unit, that was basicsally one of the things we were encouraged to do ourselves, and it was in the days when not many people had those elasticated fitted sheets, so I used to spend litterally a whole half hour trying to tuck all the bottom sheet in, and it seemed to take me years to get the hang of it. I also started making my own sandwiches and hot drinks under close supervision from the houseparents. When I moved schools then it was just a question of practice makes perfect for the next 13 years or so, so for those of you who think mumsy and dadsy'll be around for the rest of your lives and help you to do simple little things such as, prepare food, wash up, do your laundry, hang/fold your clothes, clean round the house, vacuum, do your shopping, use an ATM (cash point) Etc, Wake Up, Smell the coffee, watch, learn and listen, for Christ's sake!
My own mum was 26 when she had me, now 24 years later, I've just celebrated my 24th Birthday and she's just celebrated her 50th. She ain't gonna be around forever now, is she? Part of the reason why I'm a hell of a lot more independent than a lot of VI people still at College, who either haven't or don't want to fend for themselves, where as I was just, four, and a half, years old, when I had to live away from home, at Boarding School when I'd spent almost every day of my life up until then, dependent on my family, though for the most part, I just so wanted to learn how to tie shoelaces, put all my School uniform on, zip up my jacket when I went outside, prepare and cook food for myself, cclean and straighten the house or whatever myself, because I knew, that one day, there would be no-one left at home to do it for me.
Jen.
I couldn't imagine sending a four and a half year old to boarding school, much less not being there for him/her when he/she was still growing up but anyway... Sounds like you've had a pretty interesting experience, but I wouldn't be too harsh with those of us who aren't in your shoes. Of course, the other extreme is completely sheltering and overprotecting your child, which I don't agree with either. It's all about balance I think. Btw, was this a school for the blind or a regular boarding school? lol And about the bowls... rofl Um, let's just say I've been getting up really early this week and my head wasn't screwed on right.
It was a School for the blind (or rather, a special school) for children between the ages of 4 and 19. There was also a College of the same name, just down the drive from the School buildings where if you wanted, you could attend when you finished School.
Jen.
That was the point I was tring to get acrossed hedwig thank you for getting it across
Well, it had to be got across didn't it, Crazy Mike? and Tiffanitza, "watch, learn and listen" is one of our sayings, also, "you have to be cruel to be kind" is another one, so I was just "Being cruel to be kind" there in post 16, or else, how the hell're you gonna learn?
Jen.
Some blind people have no goals. They live with parents all their lives and it's a damn shame.
I have to agree I have a friend who has no goals and thinks shes going to live with mommy and daddy all her life thats sad we should all have goals
I know the skills but at times am to lazy to do them.
I am not very good at living skills. I do think blind people stil need to learn them though. I am just a slow learner.
Hay that's ok. At least you're still trying.
The important thing is that you work at it.
Hmmm! Well, have it from someone who'll know sooner than she thinks Crazy Mike, your friend is wildly mistaken if she's under the seriously wild notion that mummy and daddy'll live forever and do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping Etc. Both my parents're now 50 and my dad's been involved in two motorbike accidents, one of which was quite serious and landed him in Intensive Care before I was born, hence his fear of hospitals. Mum, although she's fighting fit and well and can't wait till Wednesday when I come home from College, me likewise I hasten to add, I know she's on borrowed time now she's officially middle-aged. As for my 8-month-old cousin Robbie, his mum was almost 46 when she had him last March, so when he's my age, heaven knows how fast he'll have to grow up and learn to fend for himself. Also, when one of my best friends was oo, 14, 15? her mum became very ill with lung cancer and had to go in to hospital. Even when they discharged her and she could go home, she had her good days where she could breathe, she could do moderately stress free jobs round the house and be more or less her old self, but I think she was around the same age as my parents are now when things went very wrong and my friend basically had to grow up bloody quickly. Therefore, I'll say this just once more to round things off, wake up and smell the coffee for heavens sake, before it's too late.
Jen.
Yes, Jen teaches a good lesson. You cannot always live off your parents because they could kick the so-called bucket any time.
We must learn to make it on our own.
I don't understand why visually impaired people concern themselves with the living skills of other visually impaired people. If my friend refuses to learn living skills, who is affected me or him? It's him, so it's his problem. It's nothing to do with me. I don't get worked up if there are sighted people who don't know living skills. In fact, I haven't bothered finding out the extent of living skills knowledge among different sighted people. I adopt the same policy towards other visually impaired people. My own living skills are of relevance to me as it is my living skills I will be most likely to use. I wonder how many visually impaired people who think about the living skills of other visually impaired people but not of sighted people, also believe visually impaired people should be treated equally to sighted people? Those who think both are obviously hypocrites. They don't really believe in equality, just in equality where equality isn't inconvenient.
i have a friend who is 30 years old still living with mummy and daddy. he is terrified of stoves and does his cooking in the microwave, he cannot tie his shoes and uses velcrow. come on! thirty years old and dont even know how to tie your shoes? that is really sad. not only that, but he cant clean, he needs help doing simple online banking and bill paying as well. he actually said to me one day about 5 or 6 years ago,
"if i ever get married, i will have my wife do all of the cooking, cleaning, and financial matters."
i told him,
"i will feel extremely sorry for whoever marries you."
i will give him one thing though, he has a job taking orders at pizza hut.
on the other hand, i can cook, clean, do laundry and dishes, and also vaccume. i told my friend this, and he said,
"my mother is afraid to teach me those things because she thinks i will hurt myself. as far as the shoe tying thing though, nobody has the patience to teach me how to tie my shoes."
i guess i can accept the thing about the lack of patience to teach him to tie his shoes.
when i was little, it took everyone alot of patience to teach me to tie my shoes. i remember one day when my twin sister was trying to teach me, i got frustrated and kicked her in the face. she started crying because i gave her a bloody nose when i kicked her. i still feel really bad about that. i apologized to her for that incident.
Well, I'll have to agree with Senior's post and I think I've got a few ideas why people seem to be so worked up about this whole issue. The easiest one and the harshest is that some folks just don't have a lot to do, so they are content to gossip and backbite and take part in character assassination to fill that long dark teatime of the soul. Hahahaha! Or, if you don't like that answer, then there's the idea that since blind folks are a minority we are looked at by society through a microscope, whereas sighted people are not. Let's point out a glaring double standard. If a sighted person does not cook well or is not good at directions, people shrug it away and say it's just a quirk with that person. If a blind person has the same troubles, at least our fellow blind people will raise seventeen kinds of hell, claim such a person is an embarrassment to the rest of us, and generally blast their character. We can be our own worst enemy sometimes, and many of us are just too self-conscious. I personally don't buy into this idea that whatever I do or say, good or bad, reflects on all other blind people, or that somehow I have to be so much better at things than any sighted people in the hopes it'll cure them of their ignorance and silly misconceptions. If some random sighted person is so ignorant and foolish to think that some dependent unskilled blind person is the same as I am, they're just a fool and there's no point bothering with them unless you enjoy banging your head against a brick wall.
very good points god zilla. look at blind people in other countries. like for example, in cambodia, blind people r not taught independant living. they just sit in their houses and everyone else does everything else for them because the sighted ones insist that if you are blind, better let me do that for you. but i will give cambodia a credit though. currently somebody is working on a braille system over there, and there is a blind school being established in phnom pen. so they r headed in the right direction, although very slowly. now all that is left to do is to educate the parents of the blind children, the blind adults, and the public over there that blind people are perfectly capable of doing things for themselves..
Interesting topic. While I agree that blind people are looked at through a microscope, sighted or blind, lack of independent living skills shows a lack of motivation and respect for one's surroundings. Like many posters, I too was taught from a young age to do things like: clean my room, wash dishes, tie my shoes, dress myself and vaccuum. Other tasks such as laundry and cooking came later. mainly in my early teen years. If one is going to live out on their own like me and countless other blind individuals, it is crucial to be able to maintain a household. As far as gossiping, I don't think anyone here is trying to do that. But I too feel some pressure to maintain a clean house and good appearance at all times. That's not to say that sighted people don't either. I do know people who do not have adequate independent living skills. Those types often are the ones who set a bad example for the rest of us. Sorry to say it, but I think it's true.
While I'm not the very best at all the skills I need to have, I at least try instead of just sitting back and letting others do stuff for me. My mom still tries to help me with things and while I appreciate her help and while she says it'd be faster if she did it, i always tell her, but you doing it doesn't really help me. It gets the job done and it gets it done quickly and right, but when you're gone where's that leave me? My mom is under this mistaken impression that she's gonna live forever and that's just not the case. So learning those skills is a good thing to do.
very true toonhead
indeed it is
lets get this clear I'm not here gosuping but the point I'm trying to make is that some people don't speak up for themselves and just don't care to learn things on there own. It drives me nuts that blind and even sited people don't learn indenpendent living skills. but were not really here to talk about sited people not because I'm saying were not equal but the people that look at this topic are mostly blind. I feel that blind and sited people are equal but yes their are some things we can't do
It is important to learn how to fend for oneself in all situations. Sometimes no matter how independent a blind person is or how active they might still get looked down upon and treated unfairly by sighted people simply because they are blind. It is good to have a balance and to take help only when you need it and not just to be lazy. I learned to make my bed and do househole crap when I was three and my mama never raised me like I was blind so I know no other way to act. I am lucky enough to have had sight up until I was eight so I might not have much room to talk. I have a very hard time with my tone of voice when sighted people are talking down to me or when they are overly amazed at the smallest things. I don't know how to take anything people say toward my blindness to heart because unless they are blind they don't know. On the other hand, blind people are the meanest and most nasty when it comes to gathering together and bashing each other. They know exactly where to find weak spots. It's both girls and guys... I have never seen so much drama in one group of people. I feel that blind people that want the world handed to them have a very horrible lesson to be learned later on in life. Nobody has the time to look out for somebody who can't look out for themselves. We are just blind not brain dead. I have no patience for lazy blind people. They really do make the rest of us look bad when it comes to employers or teachers. People judge all of us on one person good or bad. It sucks and it's true.
hey everyone. i would like to make a comment on my own post about my friend still living with mummy and daddy. i just spoke to him night before yesterday, and he is getting married to a sighted woman whom he met off of e-harmony a year ago. he told me that he and she talked it over. she is going to ddo all of the cooking and he will do the dishes.
she actually moved down to see him and they have been seeing each other for that year. so maybe i was too quick in saying that he is dependant on other people..
Blind people can do anything they put their minds to.
but then again, he can be getting married simply do to the fact that he is so dependant on other people to take care of his needs.
Yes, independent living skils are necesary. You'll have to live on your own someday. I am not totally independent, but I'm getting better a little at a time. It's bad that blind people don't want to be independent.
my parints always taught me that I can do whatever I wanted if I set my mind to it. yes, I may need help once in awhile, and they taught me to exsept it when I needed it, but never totally depend on others for everything, because if I were to do that, then where does it leave me when my parrents are gone?
Cat
well-said.
The man who is getting married will be dependent on his wife for food.
Ooh, if there's one thing I hate to hear, it's "You can do anything you put your mind to." Empty words, mostly, and not always true. I hear it too often from my mother, who knows nothing about the difficulties small and large that I cope with as a blind person, and who taught me to do nothing independently when I lived at home. So when I hear that, it's a frustration, rather than sounding like the encouragement I'm sure it's meant to be.
I am almost 60 now and have lived on my own for about 30 years. I wanted it that way because I had lost my mother when she was young and dad was into drinking. I just wanted to get away and do better. I learned some independent living skills at training centers and did the rest on my own. At first, my sister lived nearby so would come over periodically but now she is far away as are my 3 nephews. My thought has always been even if you live at home learn as much as you can while there because trust me parents get older and are not around forever.
I love washing dishes. I only broke one glass bottle once when I was a Teacher Aide in a Biology class...And that was because I was delusional with a fever and shouldn't have even been at school. I didn't even notice the bottle had broken until like ten seconds later lol. And I love vacuuming too. I do hate making my bed though. And I can't cook worth crap. But I think it's very important and I plan to work on both of those things this summer. Plus laundry. And having better dress sense. And remembering to fold my money and not just stuff it in my pocket. Hmmm. Yeah, I have a lot of work to do. But whatev...I swear I'll do it. I think Daily Living Skills are vitally important. Like others have said here, it's important that we stress to the sighted world that we're independent, self-sufficient and capable. Otherwise, they'll treat the whole lot of us like fools. Possibly.
Just my nickel's worth...
Best,
Caitlin
Well, i definatly agree with this. Vision impaired/blind people should learn all they can while they can. Even though i still have a little sight, i have knowen what it is to have none, and, what it is to have alot. So, i can see the point on boath angles. When my sight went bad, it was almost like i had to re learn everything, but, because i had had previous experience, it wasn't hard. I do everything around the house, fix cars, build computers, and, basicly never let my minimal sight get in the way of anything. I'm sorry to say this, but, i think some vision impaired people have the opinion "oo i'm blind, therefore, i can't do that" and, yeh, there are some things we will always have trubble with, but, how do you no less you try?
I would like to point out the following:
I know some blind people who are proud, actually proud, of the fact that they have no goals.
They live at home collecting s s i. Screwing the system!
This is indeed a shame.
yes that is indeed a sad shame. but i am living on it at the moment, but after i come home after i get my dog, i am going to try to get into a government job. oh yes. and i think my friend depending on his wife for food is pathetic.
I have a girlfriend who depends on her husband for food and now he has a bad enough stroke he can't even think straight. and she still is dependent. God knows what will happen when he dies because now they are also finding his heart rate is slow. pathetic.
very pathetic. god i wonder what will happen when my friend and his wife have children. oh god...
Maybe he might wake up and realize.
i hope so
look,
this world is full of fucking retards, my family tried to teach me but they didnt do so hot at it, i learned a lot from the school for the blind but still there is a problem with that, the sited teacher didnt think that your teaching a blind person to live on there own, they wont have you to tell them when the meat is done, so you gotta teach them the sound and feel. you cannot rely on other people all of your life, yes, i have an attendant coming in right now but am slowly getting the hang of stuff again, i lost track after being in college so have forgotten what i learned in school or i just didnt learn it well enough for when i didn't have a sited person around, but there is no excuse for not at least trying. speaking of independent living skills, i need to clean the kitchen tonight before i go to bed.
I have been in situations where the sighted person didn't know how to teach a blind person certain things. It's very frustrated.
yes and i have a ffull sink of dishes to do tonight. i hate doing dishes but they have to be done. i am just extremely tired right now and do not feel like doing all of those.
When I worked, sighted folks told me if they saw blind folks making an effort to learn something, they could get even more motivated to teach them something. I went to public school and the same was said. Looks like on here there are blind folks trying to make something of themselves. Nice to see. My friend by the way had sense enough never to have children thank God.
I'm not all that good at indipendent living skills, but I do think they are vitally important and nobody should ever use their blindness as an excuse not to do things, it sets a bad example and gives a bad impression. I am trying to learn, but I do have to admit it can be so frustrating! I feel sorry for people who don't learn just because they think they'll always have someone to do it for them, their reality check will be awful.
agree with you 100%
Way to go for people who are trying! Even if you are not good at it, you can still practice just knowing that you are making an effort.
The important thing is that you try.
Yes I totally agree independent living skills are very important. I live on my own and I love it, yeah I have to cook, clean and pay bills and all that, but it's worth it because I can say that this is my place and I am doing all that needs to be done not my family. Yeah they help me from time to time, but all families help out from time to time, some just help out a little to much. I congradulate all of you that are trying to learn independent living skills, yeah it's hard at first, but keep trying, you'll get it eventually.
Some blind people don't get their act together and learn some skills until they're forced in to it. For example someone living still at home now may have everything done for them by their parents. Although that day will come when their parents either get old and health issues consume most their time or they simply drop dead. Then in such an instant the individual would have to get things together so they can be dependant on themselves. So people still living at home should safe guard against the day when they have no choice by preparing themselves now and learning mobility or whatever it is that they don't know because someone does everything for them. I have friends now where they're so spoiled by their folks that I worry one day they'll be in a rut with out them.
That does happen.
Now mind you, I live with my parents now but that will soon change.
somanea, please tell me how your friend who doesn't cook for himself except for in the microwave is any different than the average college guy or other men out there sighted or blind, deaf or perfect hearing, disabled or not, that don't know how to cook or don't like to cook? And their wives or girlfriends do the majority or all of the cooking for them. this makes them pathetic? he's going to do the dishes, which is more than some men would do. and if things don't work out and him and the chick don't stay together, he can cook in the microwave. there are many people, men and women, blind and sighted, from many walks of life who cook this way their entire lives. it's a way of cooking for themselves. it's doing something, isn't it? not everyone has to be cooking on the stove top, baking in the oven, using the grill, and every other possible way of cooking to be good at something. you can make a lot of good and even healthy meals in the microwave. so again, don't be so judgemental.
Pipi, I love you.
With both myself and my boyfriend full-time school students cooking is the last thing we want to do when we come home. Granted, there are times that I or him get inspired but seriously, it's not one of those things that I do every day.
I can cook—quite well but my means of doing so is not always via stovetop—God bless the George Forman grill.
Pipi, I agree with all you say.
I am a huge advocate of the microwave!
I have forgotten some independant skills such cooking, tying my shoe laces. I can remember bits of things like making a bed but it is so hard doing the last bit. I can see a little bit so I can do my washing. I stil live with my mum but I do want to get my own place. At least before I am 30. Michelle
i hate using the microwave.
i would rather cook via stove top because i hate the way things taste when they come out of the microwave. especially those michaelini dinners that come in the cardboard containers. eeeeew
I always take things out of those containers because the food taste like them if I don't.
This is a news flash! This is a special news release from your local blind community! It has been determined that in ordder for the public to perceive you, my blind brothers and sisters, as truly capable, independent, and just another man or woman in this world whose blindness is a mere personality trait, that knowing how to use a stove and oven is not enough. It has now been determined that the truest and most worthy blind people who want to be seen as independent must now not only grow all of their own herbs and vegetables, but must also be able to successfully raise and slaughter any animals they intend to consume for meat! Any blind person caught using convenience foods of any kind, as well as the abomination that is the microwave oven, will be reported as dependent scum and an embarrassment to all blind people. Your local blind community will put your case up for review and you will be subject to monetary fines, banishment frrom the blind community, or execution, according to the will of your local blind community.
Remember, follow the rules, be a good blind person, not a bad blind person, and maybe, if we all wish hard enough and if the fates and gods allow, the sighted will stop looking at us funny and be friendly to us for a short while. Remember, be perfect, avoid judgment, and ye shall not be judged! And oh yeah, get a damn job! Your blind community has spoken!
Can I just cut through all of this and request banishment from the blind community now? I'd much rather be a part of the community of people who happen to be around me. Thanks.
Was that a sick joke?
My parents still don't get it. They still! Do things for me so I'm screwed really, I'm asking my braille instructor on what to do about it.
I agree with a lot of the tings said here. Granted, my independent living skills aren't that hot, but their getting their slowly. One thing that I don't know how to do really at all is cooking. Yeah microwave sure, but stove...not so much. I also agree with the point aht blind people know where to strike and they hit the weak spots that other blind people know that they are weak in, and we hit the nail on the head if we say something? Ok, did that last sentence make any sense whatsoever? This is what happens when I type fat.:D
I had a pizza man ask me if I needed help back in to my home and to the coutch. my family think I don't know how to do anything. I am the one here betweeen my bd and I that do the cleaning, cooking, and everything. He doesn't do anything because I don't need the help. He loves my cooking and I have been told that it is verry verry grate. I don't useualy use recepies. I have learned to let my bf do stuff though. He started to feel useless and not so mannly. I can get that jar open even if it does take me ten minutes. But now I ask him after a few times, it makes him fill needed, witch he is. I need him verry much. I would get loney lonely and bord and I love him being around. My family and others think that he does everything around here and when i tell thim that I am the one that does it they act as if he is an aweful person for not doing it all for me. I am blind not retarreded.
I have my own apartment, been here for 15 years. I can do my own cooking, laundry, and most any sort of cleaning necessary. Every 2 or 3 months though, I do like to have a sighted person come over just to make sure everything's ok. It's not that I look down on blind people who are not independant. my worry for them is, what happens when their caretaker is gone? If they're going to hire everything done for them, I hope they have plenty of money.
i love my microwave! hehehehe yes i do cook using the oven etc, but tonight, for example, wehn i have loads of tv to watch and internet to do, and can't be assed with the cooking, a pingmeal will do, six minutes and bang! dinner is served! heeheh
I can see how it would make you mad if a person doesn't want to learn independent living skills. It shouldn't make the blind community as a whole look bad though. That's just stereotyping, and you shouldn't let yourself get sucked into that. Just because 1 blind person can't take care of themselves doesn't mean we all can't, and if people can't see that, then that's their problem. But if I knew someone personally who was just lazy, or was whining all the time about being blind and had no motivation to do anything for themselves, then I would be pissed. But if a person was never taught those skills growing up because maybe their parents were too overprotective or whatever, and then later decided they wanted to learn, that's different. They shouldn't be made fun of because they don't know if it's not their fault.
I can't see why it would make anybody mad if somebody who they don't live with doesn't wish to learn how to live independently.
I have noticed that visually impaired people judge other visually impaired people more because of their lack of independence than sighted people do. It's as if they're paranoid that they are being assessed everytime they come into contact with sighted people. Some sighted people are less independent than others, but they don't passionately moan about it.
It really doesn't matter to me whether some visually impaired person I don't live with is independent or not. It makes no difference to my life, so their independence is a matter for them to be concerned about. I don't care about the independence of sighted people, or people with other disabilities, why just because I'm visually impaired, should I care about the independence of other visually impaired people when it's not having any impact on my life?
There are also the visually impaired people who give you a lecture or look down on you if you're not as independent as they are. Winding them up is so easy. You just claim to not be independent, act like you don't want to be independent, and I guarantee they'll be ranting in no time but why? Why are they so passionate that they would work themselves up about the independence of somebody whose house they've never even visited? I don't understand it, I think it's strange.
I wash dishes, get dinner in the oven, sometimes help peparing it and chopping vegetables and stuff, though mum doesn't actually let me tackle the more difficult vegetables, swedes, cabbage, cauliflowers, broccoli, leeks, Etc. I have also started using the vacuum, practising in places like my room (this room in fact) which is always quite cluttered with multi cable packs, laptop leads, bags, boxes and furniture all over the floor and round the walls so this room's a challenge to say the least, I've vacuumed the kitchen as I prefer to use a vacuum with a brush attachment rather than the old-fashioned mop and bucket job on our slate tiles as I can actually feel where the dirt is, then I just go for it with the brush, kind of sweeping it in to the path of the suction tube on the vacuum. I'm considering using one of those robotic floor vacuums when I'm living on my own though as hopefully sooner rather than later, I'm moving in to rented accomodation up near some friends in Nottingham, so of course, I'll need to clean, cook, do laundry and stuff on my own. The only real barrier to this is mum's wrapping me in cotton wool when it comes to me wishing to help her cook for instance. I know if I asked her if I could help, she'd tell me just to brown the meat, peel the potatoes and carrots, mix the pastry ingredients in the mixing bowl if we're having a casserole or something with home made pastry and she'll take care of everything else that I should really be learning to do myself, for example, actually chopping and/or pureeing meat and vegetables, frying/caramelising onions and other foods which require frying, putting things in to and taking things out of the oven when its warmed up and its already hot. She was out this evening and she was offering to put a Cornish pasty in the oven and take it out for my tea before she went out with her friend she hadn't seen for over 18 months, but she still seemed reluctant to leave that to me, so I just waited till she was out of the house, got the pasty on its baking tray and pushed it on to the middle shelf in the hot oven and set my microwave timer to 30 minutes. Just before the 30 minutes was up, I came downstairs again, opened the oven door and slid the tray out, wearing oven gloves of course. I'd done something she probably wouldn't've let me do, had she been there. I just need my independence so I can achieve my goal by January 2010, of leaving the nest, moving on with my life, make a good go of caring for myself.
Jen.
Senior, I wish I knew why people got so emotionally worked up over the skills or lack thereof of people who are essensially total strangers. Blast me if you will for a shameless plug, but I wrote a satirical piece and posted it in the Writer's Block that goes after this paranoid attitude and the whole idea that we must over-achieve and overcompensate in order to appeal to the outside world. I believe it's entitled "Satire: How to be an OK Blind Person." It'll either make you laugh or get you angry.
I don't have much respect for people who are willfully deficient in the skills department, especially those who are living on their own. I've had to learn how to do certain things the hard way, and as long as someone can do at least a modicum of work things should be fine. Having said that, I know what it's like to feel so overwhelmed that you don't do anything.
well, I've had my own place since 2000, and I do everything myself. because if I don't, then who's gonna do it for me? noone. Now in my early days of living by myself, I lived just outside toronto, sort of near where my mom was. so if and when ever possible, which sometimes was too often for my liking, she'd drop in to see what I was doing or how I was surviving. But I moved into toronto itself in 03. Now she's about an hours drive away from me, and things have broken down between us substantially since then, so I don't see her as often as I used to. And to be honest, I quite enjoy the challenge of doing things on my own. Laundry, vacuming, cleaning my bathroom stuff of that nature. I get a lot of satisfaction out of doing it for myself, because I know that there are a lot of people out there who are worse off than me, and who either can't do for themselves, or who have never been taught, or even who don't know what it is to feel a sence of accomplishment.
Now I admit, somethings are a challenge, like carrying a huge jug of water home from the store for my water cooler, for example. But I either take a cab home from the store, or the bus if I feel up to it. Those things are fuckin heavy though. I'm also a big stickler on not taking a cab unless it's an absolute must. I quite enjoy having the independence to go outside, jump on the bus, go to the subway station, take the subway, or what ever. I also have paratransit use here, and I admit, sometimes I do use it more often than i really should, out of laziness. But I still make it a point to travel independently, and do absolutely anything and everything that I can by myself. Not because there's not an easier way, because there sometimes might be. But at least it's getting done, and at least it's getting done my way, and to my satisfaction.
And to all the little blind dependent little boys girls men and women in the croud who think they don't have to do anything for themselves, you are the ones who will be in group homes with slower or lower functioning people, when mommy and daddy kick the proverbial bucket. So if you're living at home and allowing them to do everything for you, might I humbally suggest that you fight and do what ever you need to do so that one day, you do have the means to be self sufficient? After all, you don't wanna have a roommate who has to wear a diaper and who may also have to be spoon fed do you?
Just a thought.
Cam
Independent living is really an essential thing for the visually impaired.
I am frustrated because I am not independent enough. I can do laundry however, I don't want to do it because we have a made. I just want that my parents payment to her will be worthy. Also, when I do laundry, my mom do it again as if she is not satisfied. I clean my room sometimes, put the bedsheet in place, and dress with myself. I like to learn cooking but my mom don't allow me to do it. She thinks that if she allows me, I will burn the house.
The way I see it I can do enough to live on my own.
I'm not gonna knock myself out to impress the "sighted world."
All that matters is that you try to make something of yourself. Blind people are going to judge each other on their independent living skills because there is so much pressure to fit into the sighted world. It's also because there are ass-backward organizations like the NFB who think that they have to be perfect in order to be integrated into the sighted community. But that's another rant, maybe I should start a topic bitching about the NFB, lol. Anyways, yeah, I know my skills aren't great in some areas, but at least I make an effort to improve them. And that's all that should be important. Don't give a damn what other people say. If they want to judge you because of your skills or lack thereof, that's their problem, and it's not their business anyways.
Completely agree with ya dez. and please, do start a rant. :)
If they don't want to learn to be independent, that is their business! Mind your own business and leave them the hell alone!
I think it's imparative that individuals who happen to be blind learn all they possibly can about self sufficiency and independence. Especially if you're a blind woman. On another note, Starfish, you seem so angry and defensive. I don't think this was a post intended to make others feel self conscious, but merely a telling of people's experiences. I admire those who have admitted there lack of skills, and are currently trying to do something to change them. I've been in that exact position, and it's not necessarily an easy road to travel, but it is, well worth it.
I know this board hasn't been posted on in awhile, but I just had to get my two cents in. I was, for some reason, really motivated to learn daily living skills. By the time I was seven, I was begging to learn how to cook. I could cook full meals by the time I was eight, and now that I'm seventeen, I can do everything. I don't like the fact that now that I can do everything, I have to clean the whole damn kitchen every night while all my sister has to do is clear the left overs from the table and put them away. My mom says it's so I can learn. Well, I've been doing this for a year now, and I think I've demonstrated that I know how to do it, so how about evening the chores up, at least until I move out next year.
The N F B does pick on blindies alot :)
Getting back on topic, do what you can do and that's it.